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Influences
| 'Spazz Dictionary Ectospazz are well-known for their strange speech. This page is here to help y'all understand it better, otherwise you'll be fucked if you want to talk to us.
Posy: Used to describe anything good. E.g. "That bird was well posy."
Ripper: Used to describe anything good. E.g. "That was a ripper night."
Mass: Used in conjunction with one of the above to describe something very good. E.g. "That was a mass posy bird that just walked into B-Wise." or "That was a mass ripper night in the Galleon."
Ultra: Used when something is better than very good. E.g. "That Slayer riff is ultra hard to play."
Pig: When a lot of effort is used in something. E.g. "That bloke gave it mass pig when he hit that woman with that broken bottle." This term also covers the filth who hold the power to arrest us for doing fuck all, and throw people around. Pricks.
Mass Ultra Ripper Pig: The ultimate. Cannot be bettered. Except, obviously, if something was Ultra Mass Ripper Posy Pig. But that's not very likely. E.g. "I'm going to give it some mass ultra ripper pig when I batter that kiddie, just to make sure he stays down."
Back Bender: The fucking worst cover band in the entire fucking world. Made up of twatty football geeks from Caldicot having a midlife crisis. The band suck, especially their lead guitarist who got us banned from our (ex) local and got the pigs on us by making up a load of fucking shit, saying we jumped him. He'll get his fucking come-uppance, that comes with a lifetime 'Spazz guarantee.
Spazzcore: The next level up from hardcore, no-one can level spazzcore unless, of course, you're in Ectospazz.
Swanning Around: Pastime carried out regularly by Lord Ecto in his special "Swanning Around Hat". No-one in the world, other than Lord Ecto himself, can swan around. Not even the rest of the 'Spazz.
Doom: Used to randomly describe items. e.g. "Logs of Doom", "Computer of doom" and "Cat of doom". I'm sorry, this isn't the Collins English fucking dictionary. That's the best description I can give.
Maddog: To be unstable of mind. Cool people are usually maddogs, including Ectospazz members, Ectospazz fans, the Simmond's family and many more. E.g. "That bloke necking a pint of petrol there whilst repeatedly punching that other bloke is a right maddog"
Animal: Similar to maddog, can be used to describe anything erm... maddog. E.g. "Remember that time that maddog kicked that other maddog that hard in the face his teeth smashed the window the other side of the road? That was fucking animal!"
Drums: A musical instrument that should be extremely wary of drummers called Joe Estespazz, as they may end up with serious injuries due to spazzcore playing.
Joe Estespazz: A serious danger to the aforementioned musical instrument drums, due to the awesome destruction power Joe has on said instrument, cymbals and hi-hats in particular.
Scuttle: To have intercourse with, to split in two, to give one to, to get drunk and take advantage of, what happens after drinking absinthe in T.J'S and you get beer goggles on. *See beer goggles*
Beer Goggles: When Dawn French turns into Angelina Jolie after 12 hours at you're local. And some shit joke toy you can buy in Newport, if you want to act like those Middle-aged Stella-heads in 'Men Behaving Badly'. Come to think of it, they probably fucking invented them.
Flag Of Doom: Welsh Flag used on the Bus Of Doom for drunken maniacs such as Danno, Farley, Mad Nick and Jim 'Spazz to piss behind without anyone being able to see their cocks. The flag of doom failed when everyone realised the flag was, in fact, see through and everyone saw everyone else's private parts. Including many other innocent motorists.
Evil Uncle: Relative of ex-member Simmo. Stupidly started mouthing off at the father and son team that is Lord Ecto and Timmo. Cue a scared evil uncle, a tribe of the uncle's family going maddog, Simmo getting hit in the crossfire, Lord Ecto's crutches nearly removing said uncle's face and Jim 'Spazz laughing stupidly as he watched it all.
Interbred Head: See the head of Le Farley. Signs to look out for: strangely shaped ears that failed the Interbred sunglasses test (see below), silly ginger sideburns and lots and lots of sweat.
Interbred Sunglasses: If these glasses fit you, you are not an Interbred. they most certainly do not fit Le Farley.
Ectospazz: The greatest mother fucking band in the whole world. Without a doubt. E.g. "Ectospazz are the greatest mother fucking band in the whole world. Without a doubt."
Fucking Right: To strongly agree with something. E.g. In reply to the statement "That cunt from Back Bender who grassed us up to the coppers is a fucking cunt", you would reply: "Fucking right he is."
Caldicot: The place where it all happens. In fact, nothing happens here at all. People get drunk, fight, do drugs and die. And Ectospazz rule over all, same as everywhere else.
Twat, Prick, Cock, Wanker, Geek, Tool, Fucking Asshole, etc: All used to describe the hundreds of trendy assholes out on the weekends, Back Bender, ex band members, and other people we don't like. If you need an example in this case, you're one of the people these terms describe.
Stella Artois: Jim Spazz's drink. Usually ends in him being sprawled in the middle of the village covered with mayonnaise, puke and mud. And not remembering how the FUCK he got there.
Strongbow: Lord Ecto and Le Farley's beverage of choice. Due to their ability to handle alcohol better than Jim 'Spazz, it is rarer to see Lord Ecto and Le Farley in a Jim 'Spazz state. But not unknown.
Steve: A new 'Spazz word after the recent band trip to Newquay. The 'Spazz and the Mosh Squad, led by the funniest busker in the world managed to convert the entire place to being called Steve and shouting it all over town all week. Steves met included: Secret Steve, Curious Steve, Aggro Steve, Tramp Steve, Mullet Steve, Mohawk Steve, Busking Steve, Spiky Steve, Predator Steve, King Steve a.k.a Paranoid Steve, Lionel Steve, Mr. and Mrs. Steve, Diagonal Steve, Coventry Steve, Sunburnt Steve, Worshipping Steves, Brummie Steve, Scottish Steve, Valley Commando Steve, Ginger Steve, Big Steve, Egyptian Steve, Aussie Steve, Fit Doorwoman Steve, Lucky Steve, Angry Steve, Stag Night Steve, Lesbian Steve, Gay Steve, Trigger Steve, Snowy Steve, Teef Steve, Leeds Steve, Little Steves, Double Bass Acoustic Steve on Ecstasy, Jesus Steve, In-denial-about-being-called-steve Steve, Danny Stevedust, Despondent Steve, Airwolf Steve, Family Crisis Steve, Gordon Steve, The Steve To End All Steves, Sexy Steve, Radio Steve, Geeky Steve, Kiwi Steve, Tall Trees Steve, The Real Steve Shady, Identification steve, Kebab Shop Steve, Cod Steve and many, many more. Heheheheheehe.
To do an Ashley: When someone decides to stop showing up for something that's very important, without telling anyone else involved. E.g. "I'm going to do an ashley and not show up for my court appearance tomorrow."
To do a Simmo: See "To do an Ashley", but with the occasional appearance. E.G. "I'm going to do a Simmo and go to court tomorrow, but hide in the toilets doing fuck all for a few hours."
To do a Clifford: See "To do an Ashley" and "To do a Simmo" above, but with a lot of lies and ponciness added in. E.g. "I'm going to do a Clifford and show up for court tomorrow, say I've got a bad toe and pop back to my house to make sure my queer curtained hair looks cool enough for the judge. I'm then going to blame my going to court on everyone accept myself, say I'm only going to show up to do the police a favour and that it's their fault I'm going to court in the first place."
NOTE: you may not understand the above three dictionary entries if you don't know any of the ex members of Ectospazz. They are metaphors regarding the reasons why the ex-members in question became ex members.
ANOTHER NOTE: The words "regarding" and "metaphors" used above are the longest, most intelligent words you will find on this website. Don't expect any fucking more.
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